Can we get better?

Looking around me I see most of my friends very content in their marriages. Fe and Be just celebrated 35 years together and they seem happy. They had a rough time many years ago but all that is over now and they relate so well. They do not get upset with each other in that angry way that says, "I cannot stand you anymore."

S and B had a time when they did not do anything together but after going through some difficult time with daughter M, they came together and now they rarely do anything separate from each other. Case after case, I see people who has gone trough ups and downs but has mange to come out of that with a stronger relationship. This makes me happy because it always so much better to see your friends happy but it makes me sad because I am not one of them and I am not sure I will ever be in that position.

Luiz and I fight all the time for the smallest thing which is making my son's life miserable. I am constantly trying to understand why is so and this is what I came up with: couple of years ago I have decided to change. I am a very difficult person with a horrible temper who has lost quite a bit because of this temper. I decided to educate me temper in a way that makes me feel better about myself and it makes people want to be around me. I want to look at the world and think that it is mostly good with some rough spots. What I see in my husband is exactly the opposite. He thinks the world is mean and if he is not careful, people will take advantage of him. It is very difficult to live with someone who is angry most of the time.

Also, our relationship is based on me having all the patience and him having none or little. If he is angry, I have to calm him down. If I am angry, he screams at me. Well, my patience is also short and so we argue all the time. A day does not go by when we do not have a fight over something. I am also not sure if I want to go and do therapy again. The results are always temporary, They never last. We get along for a couple of months and then it starts again and every time, gets worse.

I am at a cross road right now: do I give another try by going to therapy or do I just let it go as is until the day I had enough and we go our separate way? Not sure what to do.